We really don’t like being told what to do.
Because it feels so sensitive for us to be on the receiving end of this, and because we care so much about how others feel, we do our best to only speak for ourselves and avoid telling other people what we think their experience is or might be like.
We notice how common it tends to be in relationships for people to communicate in this way for one another. It seems that comments like “you should,” “be careful,” “don’t you think,” “I wouldn’t do that,” “just wait until…,” etc have become so common. And while we recognize that they often partially come from a place of love for the other person, we feel like they are also often sharing more about the speaker’s experience, feelings, fears, etc.
We have a desire for people to honor one another’s abilities to navigate their own decisions and to support them from a loving space. It feels good for us to be able to ask for feedback from others when that is what we are wanting, and not have it assumed.
In the video below, we go into depth as to why we are not Interetested in this style of communication and what we have done to change it in our own lives. If this is an area you’re feeling curious about in your own life, give it a watch!
And if you’re wanting to dive even deeper into more authentic communication, our membership videos provide real life examples of how we use these language tools in both everyday conversation and in challenging situations.