Interview for MediaDrum
Your full names
Brittany Taylor and Conor McMillen
We Healh and Authentic Living Educators, Youtubers, Acrobats, Teachers, and Entrepreneurs.
Brittany – 29 / Conor – 33
From (town and country please):
Brittany is from South Kingstown, Rhode Island, USA and Conor is from Santa Ynez, California, USA
Can you tell me a bit about yourselves and how you met?
We are passionate about life, growth, authentic relationships, compassionate communication, and living our dreams. We are body-positive, sex-positive, health educators and youtubers, who share about our lives with the intention of inspiring others to be the fullest versions of themselves possible and to go after their own, unque dreams.
We met one another in August of 2013 at The Woodstock Fruit Festival, a week-long health event in upstate New York. Although we were both instantly into one another on multiple levels, we began our relationship platonically, and enjoyed a growing, long-distance friendship over the next 9 months before sharing that we were totally in love with one another one night on the phone.
What does polyamory and unconfined love mean to you both?
We tend not to use labels as they often feel limited and/or confining. However, as search terms, we’ve very much appreciated them, and we also know how taking on a word to represent a role we are embodying can be an empowering tool. All that being said, here are the most accurate ways we can describe what these terms mean to us.
Polyamory is defined as “the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. It has been described as ‘consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy’.” We feel like this definition conveys elements of our relationship structure well.
Unconfined love is a term we created that describes the life we aim to live. We choose to share our love openly with the world, in ways that feel right for us. We feel passionate about sharing this freedom, which feels like it goes beyond defining a certain type of relationship, and hits on the larger aim, which is to love without limit or restriction.
Please can you explain how your relationship works?
Our relatinship is fluid, undefined, and constantly changing. We are two individuals, who love each other very much, and have no rules or template, which we are following for how we will relate with one another or how we will relate with others. We follow our hearts, always feeling out our truest desires, we check in with one another regularly, we are constantly growing and evolving, and falling more in love with each other and ourselves every day.
How do the relationships you have with other people outside of your relationship work – do you find they improve your own relationship?
Our relationships outside of ours are similar, in that they are unstructured, fluid, and constantly evolving. Each relationship is unique unto itself. We feel surrounded by a loving community who supports, and is also interested in having authentic, growing relationships.
Yes, we find that all of the relationships in our lives enhance one another, and we feel they are doing the same for the lives of the other people we connect with.
When you are on dates with other people, how do you perceive the person you are on the date with feels about you already being in such a deep relationship?
We imagine that this differs for everyone. The feedback that we have gotten from the people that we connect and share intimacy with is that they are excited about us, both as individuals, and in the context of our relationship. Many of the people we share dates with have come to appreciate us in large part for the kinds of relationships we have.
Do either of you ever get jealous of each other and how do you deal with these feelings?
Yes. We have both experienced quite a bit of jealousy, both before we began relating with one another, and since. We like to think of jealousy as something to understand, and to gain more data from, as opposed to something to deal with. Often when we are feeling jealous, we like to dive deeper into understanding the feelings that are coming up for us. Jealousy is just a word. What are the feelings underneath it? Usually it is some mixture of emotions and parts of us surfacing, such as fear, unworthiness, sadness, excitement, and so on. Often times we recognize the feeling of lack that may be coming up for us while thinking about the abundance we perceive the other person is having, is a desire to be experiencing our own abundance. Once we realize this, and as we uncover other deeper truths, we find that the initial “jealousy” discomfort subsides, and more peace, presence, and understanding takes its place.
What reactions do you get from other people?
Honestly, a lot of support. Especially at this point. Our world is so full of people, who are reaching out to us to thank us for what we share through our videos. There isn’t much room for skepticism. We imagine that us being so excited and passionate about our relationship, and that people can see and feel the genuine love we share with one another probably is a big part of it. People often ask if we get jealous. Some wonder if we have rules. Some ask us fun, intimate questions about our sex lives. Those are our favorite. A lot of people say they would like to try, but feel fearful about some element of it.
Is there a particular message you want to convey – what would you say to someone who is curious about being polyamorous or having an open relationship?
We would encourage them to follow whatever feels right for them and the person or people they are relating with. We feel that each relationship is as unique as the individuals involved. We would tell them that they deserve to have everything they desire, whatever that looks like for them, and to let them know that they can.
What are your plans for the future?
We are excited by many things in many realms of life. Some of the ones on top lately have been continuing to educate the world about authentic relationships, sex positivity, loving compassion, nailing some new acrobatics moves, and continuing to become more of the people we desire to be. We are also eager to create a child together and to develop a property with a retreat center and an abundance of fruit trees in Austin, Texas.
Please feel free to include any other information.
A few quick facts.
How long have you been together?
Given that our relationship is a bit undefined, we don’t have a simple answer to that. Here are some numbers: We met 4 years ago and have been talking with one another daily for nearly 3.5 years. We have been living and traveling together full time for about 3 years.
How many different relations have you had with others whilst together?
Wow. That’s a great question. Hm. Quite a few! Our relationships are so fluid that a lot of people in our lives that could be considered “friends,” we have shared sexual intimacy or romantic relationships with. We have had relationships that range from short term to long term, we have partners we enjoy moving our bodies with while dancing or practicing acrobatics, but do not share other intimacy with, we have shared lovers simultaneously with one another, we have had three-person relationships, and the list goes on.